The unfolding of my life continued and with it came an added attraction…that of taking alone time in the wilderness. Where exactly did this come from in me? I cannot say. It is not in my known history, but it is indeed in my ancestry, even if only known through distant and foreign stories told. It is in all of our ancient and spiritual lineages when we consider that we all come from the original peoples…the land based/nature linked tribal ones of the world. Most all of humanity came from this place of wisdom that had them always returning to their aloneness in the wilds to reflect and contemplate what lay inside, to pray for vision, and to see themselves mirrored in the world around them. Seekers abound in this world…those who ask questions of the world that are greater than what the every day visible world can answer.
In following what strangeness called me I learned how it was medicine for me…somehow I needed this even though at times I felt (and feel) myself to be an exile and that subjugated me at times to loneliness in that vast and beautiful aloneness.
The other night I dreamed of trying to guide a huge group of children into a night alone…and it was nearly impossible, in fact. The children had no exposure to such a strange idea ..and the adult helpers had perhaps less!! This ritual muscle that grows us is withering on our collective vine.
Yesterday after being with 10 other dogs and their people in a dog training class in the local park, I came home bewildered. I felt strange and could feel an emotional swell beneath my experience. I couldn’t quite identify it, except that I felt utterly disconnected from these people…AND the other dogs. In fact, we were offered no interaction with the other dogs, which of course was on purpose. But more than that… I felt a little like I was in outer-space…each human there felt like they were separate planets, orbiting in space somewhere. I felt exactly alone and with no connection with the others. They seemed to be in space with little grounding…many needing to be taught how to connect with their dogs. It was odd and my own feelings were just out of reach to me while I was there and that got in under my skin. I could feel it needling me for the rest of the evening. Where was the connection for all of us? Did it lay with these incredible creatures called dogs?
I wonder about you. I’m so curious where you are. Where is your point of connection with yourself and others? With nature and the animals? With mystery? There was so much in the dog training about focus and distraction and how to keep the animal focused on the humans. And yet, I wonder if what is more important is for we humans to live our lives with as much focus on our deeper selves rather than on the unending distractions of the world. With the so muchness of our world, have we lost the ambition to focus within? or on nature? To be curious about our connectivity inside with life. Have we lost the understanding that it is in these places that we actually find something worth living for?
In my aloneness I have found great grounds of connection at times and in times of togetherness I have felt absolutely alone. What I focus on is the way-show-er to the gifts of my relationship with Mystery.
I would love to hear from any of you reading here that would like to go further in this exploration. If you feel yourself as a lonely un-named planet spinning in some outer orbit with little conscious knowing of where you are in space or who you are or why you are here, write to me…better yet, write to YOU! We could make this a forum of connection from the loneliness of living in a world of disconnected velocity and distraction, into a kind of focused exploration.
And in addition, I invite you to take a minute today…or an hour…to sit on a rock or lie on your back under a tree and be in focused wonder at the monumental mystery of who you are and what is calling you that is beneath your busy mind.